I had been dating a guy I really liked for a little over four months. When it suddenly ended, I was devastated. So I came up with a list, with some help from friends and teens across the country, to help you know if you’re finally over your ex. Although many things on this list are hard to do, they will help. And so will time . . . it heals all wounds.

1. You no longer listen to depressing music while eating tubs of ice cream. The first couple of days after a breakup are the worst. You feel sorry for yourself and listen to depressing “emo” music while crying over junk food.

Drowning your sorrows
in ice cream?
Photo by Hannah Rosenblum

2. You no longer talk to your ex’s friends to find out what she’s doing. Nobody knows your ex better than her friends. You’ve probably become closer to them through your ex, but resist the urge to ask them about her.

3. You no longer dig up old voicemails and e-mails and reminisce. Although it’s tempting to save all those mushy “I love you” voicemails/e-mails that remind you of the good ‘ole days, they really need to go. The more things you save that remind you of your ex, the harder it will be to get over him or her.

4. You no longer find yourself talking about your ex with your friends. She used to be all that you would talk about with your friends, but lately you’ve started talking about other stuff.

5. You no longer go out of your way to see your ex in the halls or in a favorite hangout spot. Admit it. In those first couple of weeks, you’d just “happen” to wind up at her hangout spots or find yourself driving past his house. Again, resist the urge.

6. You no longer check her away messages every 10 minutes. It’s enticing to check the away message to see if your ex wrote anything about you or song lyrics that describe a (hopefully depressed) mood, but in order to get over the breakup, stop checking!

7. You no longer talk loudly about other guys/girls around your ex, hoping they hear and become jealous. It’s tempting to show your ex that you are over the relationship, even if you’re not. Bad idea. This can create hard feelings or, worse, reveal that you’re putting on an act. When you stop caring what your ex thinks about your life, you can move on.

8. You go out on a date with someone else, have a good time, and manage not to think about your ex for a good three hours! It’s hard to think about going out with someone else when you’re so hung up on your ex. But many times, seeing someone new takes your mind off your ex—and sparks a new friendship or relationship.

9. You hear he is seeing someone else, and you’re not upset. The most dreaded fallout of breaking up is that your ex will find someone new. But if you can relate to many of the situations on this list, hearing that your ex is dating someone else may not be as unbearable as you had originally thought.

10. You finally take your ex off your buddy list—for good. This may be one of the hardest things to do. Erasing your ex’s screen name means you cannot see his or her away messages or profile. Remember, out of sight, out of mind!