I remember those elementary-school days when the class would finish one of those ancient films on the male and female reproductive systems. That film narrator’s voice would drone on, describing the penis and vagina as if to a kindergarten class: “This is a penis. This is a vagina. They do this.”
Just hearing the words “penis” and “vagina” made us laugh. It wasn’t every day you heard such “unnatural” words. The class would be in an uproar—snickering and energetic. After the film, the teacher would ask the dreaded question: “Anyone have any questions on what they saw?”
Daryl Hawkins
The once energetic room turned into dead silence. Figuring that our silence meant we all understood the subject, she’d turn the page in her lesson book and move on.
The dread and fear provoked by that very question can still haunt teens to this day. Back then, you really didn’t have a pressing need to get answers to your questions about sex. But now, since you hit high school, there may be a rush to learn about sex.
You might have a boyfriend or girlfriend, or you might be like me and many other teens who haven’t found that true love. I’m curious about sex, even though I’m not currently involved with anyone. Our questions need to be answered—no matter our present dating situation.
I crack a smile when I think back to freshman year and conversations with my friends. We were so lost about sex. Our talks were always about things we saw on TV and what they influenced us to think. We’d say things like, “Yeah, when I have sex, it’s going to be the greatest and last for days. Nothing’s going to go wrong.”
Well, the media can’t teach you everything about sex. And it’s important to learn how to get answers from reliable people and sources. You may be thinking: But what do I do? Here’s my advice:
First thing on the list of to-do’s is communicate. Just like it’s important to communicate with a teacher about a grade, it’s equally important to communicate with a teacher or another trustworthy adult about your questions. I suggest your health or sex education teacher. Why not ask a person who makes a living teaching about sex? If your teacher is anything like mine, you’ll probably get a real straightforward, factual answer.
The important thing is to talk to someone who’s knowledgeable and trustworthy. So cross off everyone on your list who can’t respect your privacy. You can go to a family member who makes you feel comfortable: an older sibling, cousin, or maybe a parent or guardian. I know that sounds pretty scary, but like everyone else in the world, our parents or guardians once wondered about sex. Talking with older people is also good, because they’ve probably sought answers to questions and learned from experience, too.
If there’s no one you can talk to, you can look up a local teen health or family-planning clinic, like Planned Parenthood, and make an appointment to speak with a doctor or health care provider, or outreach educator at the clinic. Many towns and cities have teen health or family-planning clinics, which offer low-cost or sliding-scale fees. To find one, check the yellow pages under “clinic” or “family planning,” call Planned Parenthood at 1-800-230-PLAN (7526), or click here.
If you don’t want to be face-to-face with a person, you can drop into the local clinic and pick up brochures about different sexual-health issues. Or you can visit some reliable sexual-health Web sites or read many cool books about these issues.
First, the Web. Since most schools use Internet filters, you’ll need to log on elsewhere, since filters block out sites with sexual terms on them, even if they’re educational ones. Try accessing the Net from your home, a friend’s home, or your local library.
Once online, you can get answers to your questions from a range of reputable Web sites. The top educational sexual-health sites for young people (in alphabetical order) are:
If you’d rather read about sex offline, you can buy or check out some classic teen sexual-health books. The most popular ones are Changing Bodies, Changing Lives, by Ruth Bell, Deal With It, by the creators of gurl.com, and the What’s Happening to My Body? series for guys and girls, by Lynda Madaras.
Now a senior, I realize that a long time ago I could’ve learned about sex if I had just opened my mouth and asked someone where to go for answers. The knowledge I’ve since gained has helped me in tough situations. So, don’t be like hundreds of other teens who stay in the dark about sex.
Until next time, be safe.
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