People call me “BpGirl240.” The “Bp” stands for “brown pride,” because I’m a Chicana (Mexican-American) and proud of my skin color. The “Girl” represents being female and proud of my strength. The “240” stands for “24 hours a day,” which is how often I remind myself to be proud—not just of my heritage and gender, but because I’m an 18-year-old virgin, too. You may think all this is crazy but, hey, it’s something different to me.

Dina

When I grew up, sex wasn’t really mentioned around my house. But every Saturday and Sunday around midnight, when I was five years old, my three older sisters had their talk about guys (mostly about who they liked). They also talked about sex, but I wasn’t ever really paying close attention. I thought sex was something only “adults” talked about.  Not even knowing what sex was, I used to say to myself, “When I grow up like them, I’m going to be the sex expert of the family.”

When I was 12, one of my older sisters told me what “69” meant. I was surprised, and then I asked her more questions. Basically, she gave me my sex education.  She told me about the actions and consequences of sex—and I became aware.

Guys Who Cared Less

When I was in junior high, sex was everywhere. Young girls got pregnant, and rumors spread. The “true homeboy” and “caring guy” were just images—something girls fell for that wasn’t real. These “men” were really violent and could care less about their actions. It made me think about what I wanted in life, which was to make my own choices and be responsible if I brought another being into this world.

Around this time, my father told me about the real consequences of sex: not depending on him and Mom, and raising a baby on my own (because, most likely, the guy would leave in this story). Dad made me realize I had to make the choice that was best for me.

Girl Pride

At high school, the teens around me had no confidence. They belittled others to impress their friends and prove they had confidence and respect. Sex was a thing they had to do. Once girls got pregnant, it was the same sad story of the guy leaving or turning violent, which scared me.  

But when I transferred to another high school, teens there had other interests—like sports and education. They talked about sex, but it wasn’t such a big deal. That amazed me. My new high school also had a women’s organization, which helped my friends and me become smart and confident in the world. So, basically, it was OK to be a virgin. 

Virgin and Proud

In the story of our society, virgins are often portrayed as “targets” for man’s ego and experience. That needs to stop because virgin girls and women should be proud. We aren’t just here for sexual pleasure; we’re role models. 

Virgin girls need to come together to claim that we’re not alone. We should give ourselves credit because we are true leaders. A virgin girl says, “Hey, take me for what’s in my mind, not just for my body.”

Now being a virgin is really OK, and I feel no pressure or rush to have sex. About half of my friends are still virgins and they’re very proud. Together we agree on one thing: no worry. We don’t worry about sexually transmitted disease or pregnancy. The only thing we worry about is our lives.

Dina, 18, lives in Los Angeles, CA.