Great question. It shows that you’re taking the time to think through this very important decision. Here are some questions to consider when deciding whether becoming sexually active is the best thing for you at this point in your life.

You need to be aware of the good and bad things that might happen if you have sex with someone.

The good things – pleasure, a feeling of closeness, maybe even a deepening in your relationship. These things are more likely to happen when a couple knows and understands each other, decides together that they’re ready to become more intimate and uses condoms and birth control to protect against pregnancy and disease.

The bad things – a sexually transmitted infection, an unplanned pregnancy, a broken heart. Anytime you have sex, there’s a chance of disease and pregnancy. Using birth control and wearing condoms, every single time, reduces the chances of either of these things happening.

Hearts often get broken when a couple hasn’t taken the time to get to know each other before having sex. They haven’t shared their feelings, expectations and desires for themselves and the relationship. Broken hearts happen to just about everyone, sometime during their life. But, if you jump into a sexual relationship with someone you barely know, you’re more likely to be emotionally hurt or to hurt the other person.

So, to sum up, before you’re ready to have sex, you need to be aware of the possible consequences and risks, know how to get and use birth control and condoms, talk to your partner about your feelings and concerns and then be able to cope with any negative consequences. That’s a lot to take on. Spend some time thinking about this heavy decision and make sure it’s your choice, not something that someone pressures you into.

Here are some questions to answer:

• Do I feel ready to have a intimate sexual relationship with another person?
• What are my values/beliefs about sex? Relationships?
• What would my parents or family think about me being in a sexual relationship? Would they approve? Disapprove?
• What does my religion say about having a sexual relationship?
• What would I do if I started a pregnancy or became pregnant?
• What type of birth control would we use? Where could we get it? Do I need to go to a family planning clinic?
• How about sexually transmitted infections? How would we protect ourselves?
• Would having sex change the relationship at all? Make it more intense or
  change how I feel?
• Am I feeling pressured by anyone to have sex? My partner? Friends? The
  idea that all teens are having sex? (Even though they’re not!)
• Can I talk honestly about sex with my partner? Have we talked about our
  sexual histories with each other yet?

If you are really struggling to answer these questions and you want to talk to someone, you can call the Teen Relationship National Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. This hotline is confidential and free.