In today�s fast-moving world, teen girls get pregnant every day. It�s almost as if being young and pregnant is acceptable to many teens. Even though the teen pregnancy rate in the United States has gone down, in some places, it still seems like you can�t turn a corner without seeing a pregnant teen.

In a sense, this isn�t surprising. Sex can be one of life�s most fulfilling experiences. It is one of the most powerful behaviors. It has the ability to give pleasure and create intimacy between partners. And it also has the ability to give life; change life, with an unplanned pregnancy; or, with HIV/AIDS, potentially take life away.

In today�s media-obsessed world, teens have to make decisions about sex at younger and younger ages. As I made the transition from middle school to high school, I began to realize this more and more. I had to navigate social waters that neither my friends nor I had the power to change. Being popular and wanting to fit in was a normal developmental need at that stage. Like many teens, I had to make tough decisions about sex.

I grew up in Trenton, NJ, where it seemed like teens got pregnant more than adults. Sex seemed like such a normal part of teen life, I was scared that I was going to be judged if I chose to abstain. Once I decided to wait, though, I realized that it wasn�t half as bad. Not too many people cared about my decision to wait until the right time. They were busy trying to make up their own minds.

L�aTrice Doctor*

No Easy Life

Some girls think that getting pregnant is OK. They feel as though a �bundle of joy� will cheer them up, so they won�t be lonely. (Perhaps getting a puppy would be a better way to fill that void?) Both girls and guys fail to realize all the drama, time, and effort that come with being a teen parent.

Pregnant girls have to deal with so many issues: some fathers-to-be leave them; some parents may reject them; or their peers may look down on them, as if they have a contagious disease. Most importantly, they have to prepare emotionally, physically, and financially for their little one�s arrival. For many, the lines between childhood, adolescence, and adulthood become blurred.

Educate Teens

Teen pregnancy in the U.S. is so widespread, and we need to start educating preteens and teens about sex as soon as possible. In my community, teen pregnancy hits younger and younger generations, and I wish that both middle and high schools provided comprehensive sex education, not abstinence-only sex ed.

Contrary to what many adults think, abstinence-only sex ed may cause some teens to rebel. Abstinence-only programs suggest that the only way to prevent unplanned pregnancy and/or sexually transmitted infections (STIs) is to wait until marriage to have sex. This is not true. Unplanned pregnancy and STI transmission can also be prevented through consistent and correct use of condoms and other contraceptive methods. But these programs mainly discuss failure rates of condoms and other methods.

Comprehensive sex ed covers all the bases. These programs recognize that being abstinent is the best type of protection, but also teach about contraceptive methods, if teens choose to be sexually active. 

Parents Need to Talk

Educators aren�t the only ones who should teach young people about sex. Parents should have gradual conversations about sex with their children�ones that begin when their children are as young as four years old or when they begin to ask questions. If children think that their parents welcome questions about sex, they�ll continue to ask them throughout the years.

I don�t necessarily believe that open talks will change children�s entire outlook on sex. But I believe that as children grow up, they�ll be more comfortable asking difficult questions�and these will certainly arrive due to peer pressure.

Teens Can Wait

Complete and accurate information about sex doesn�t lead teens to go ahead and have it. Teens are able to engage in self-discipline; adults don�t give us nearly enough credit for our ability to do that. Instead of doubting our ability to overcome peer pressure, adults need to encourage us to make and commit to the best choice for us�whether it�s abstain from sex or practice safer sex.

Given our world today, teens must ask themselves tough questions about sex. The ultimate question is: Do you feel you will be ready in case an unplanned pregnancy or STI happens as a result of having sex?

I thought about that and decided that abstinence was the best choice for me. Of course, my environment�seeing so many pregnant teens�affected my decision. Even though the time hasn�t come yet, when it does, I will be educated and physically and emotionally prepared. 

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*Photograph by Pryde Brown Photographs