Intercourse is painful for my girlfriend. What can I do?   The most common cause of painful intercourse is too little vaginal lubrication. When a woman feels sexy, the walls of her vagina respond by giving off a liquid that wets the vagina and makes it easier for the penis to enter.   You may be trying to put your penis in too soon before your girlfriend has had time to become excited enough to become lubricated or "wet." If you are the one initiating sex, it may take your girlfriend time to "catch up with you" in terms of her level of arousal. Sometimes, young men are in too much of a hurry to get to intercourse. There is a lot more to the "art" of sex than that! Be sure to take your time and don't leave out foreplay (kissing and caressing).   You may also need to find out more about what pleases your girlfriend (and she must understand what pleases her so she can tell you!). How does she like to be touched? What turns her on? Do you both understand the role of the clitoris in female sexual response and orgasm?   If you are using a condom (which I hope you are!), you may need to add lubrication. (Don't use Vaseline, though, because it causes latex to disintegrate.)   Another reason may be that your girlfriend is tense or worried (this can cause the vaginal entrance to tighten up so that getting a penis in may hurt). Perhaps she is unsure about having sex. Have you had many serious discussions with each other about having sex? Are you sure she really wants to have sexual intercourse? Is she having sex to please herself or to please you? (Having sex only to make you happy is not a good reason for her to have sex.)    Or maybe she is worried about getting pregnant. If you are not protecting her from unintended pregnancy, it will be hard for her to relax and enjoy sex. Sex without birth control for a woman who does not want to become pregnant is almost NEVER a fun experience because she's spending the entire time worrying about possible consequences instead of focusing on the good sensations.   Remember that sex in real life is not like sex in the movies. The way sex is shown on TV and in the movies, it makes it seem like sex is something that magically happens. In real life, even when people understand the basics of sex, there is still plenty of learning that goes on with each new pair of people. It takes time to learn what kinds of touching and what circumstances give you and another person pleasure. It also takes time and some maturity to feel comfortable talking to your partner about what you like and what feels good. Sex takes practice. And practicing at sex is really about practicing at talking, communicating and sharing.   So, if you or your girlfriend are too embarrassed to talk to each other about sex, to go get some books that will help you learn more about sex, or to see a doctor to learn about how to protect yourselves from pregnancy and disease, you might want to reconsider your decision to have sex.   Most of all, don't be in a hurry. There is plenty of time to get around to including intercourse in your sexual encounters. And you want it to feel great for both of you when it finally happens! So go slow!

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